Let me start out by saying that I have some awesome friends. I've known some of them since I was 14 and just in high school and regardless of what happens, regardless if we don't speak for months, if I ever need anything, I know I can count on them. I'm lucky to have friends like this. They are such a family to me. They have helped keep me sane through some of the toughest stuff I've ever gone through and I only hope that some day I can return the favor. They are truly amazing and all one of a kind.
Why is it that there are just some people you can't connect with? Doesn't matter how hard you try, it always seems forced. It always seems distant and not real. I'm a pretty laid back guy. It takes a lot to really get on my nerves, but even then I can easily get over that if you are a decent person. Why are some people so stuck up that they feel above other people? It's like they have this sense of super self importance and that no one else is half as good as they are.
I've had people that I'm not a fan of, but rarely have I ever come across someone I would ever call an enemy. I can count on one hand the number of people I could have ever called an enemy in my life and I wouldn't even use all my fingers. I guess that is what is bugging me right now. One person. The problem is because of my anger towards this person, I can't let these feelings go. I don't want this person to have any control over my life in that way anymore. I want to be free of it, free from it, free to be myself again. How does one person over come emotions and feelings like this and just let them go. Do you have to fully forgive someone before they can be let go, before you can feel peace in your life again or do you just have to grin and bare it? I wish there was an all knowing oracle that could tell me these things so I didn't feel so damn lost sometimes.
I will close my eyes now and attempt to dream happy thoughts. Good night world. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
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